From One Mom To Another

This is a post from a couple of years ago that I wanted to share again. I love looking back and remembering the good things God has done. It has been great to write them down so that we do not forget ALL the good things God can do for us.

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew6:33)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Phillipians 4:6)

This year has been difficult on my husband and I financially, as it has been on a lot of those I know, specifically my sister and brother-in-law. While God has pulled some real miracles off for us this year, things have been tight and we have not felt like we could do much extra than just “get by”. I will have to chronicle all the miracles God has done for us this year, but for now I want to share one in particular. This one includes my sister who, even more than I, needed to know that God had not forgotten about her.

About a month ago, we knew that “High School Musical On Ice” was coming to town. As we were driving down the road with a friend, Tracy Hurst, we saw a billboard and discussed how we would really like to take the girls to that but knew we would not be able to afford it this month. There was just no way. She stopped us then and there and said “Let’s just pray for it”. She began praying “Father we just thank you that you care for us and the desires of our heart, down to every detail. We pray that you just allow Jo Anna and Angel the opportunity to bless their girls and take them to this event. Lord, do it in a way that they would clearly know that it was from you. In the name of Jesus, Amen” That was it. She said now look for it, it’s coming. (Insert my sister’s sigh ) I did remember a time which Ben’s boss gave us tickets to see Disney on Ice because he and his family could not go. We had not been looking to go, but it was a nice blessing. So I pointed out that we did not have to have the money to go, just the tickets. (This would be better, because when you are tight on money nothing is “extra” money )

This past weekend was the last weekend the show would be in town. I had tried to figure out how we could afford it, but it was just not possible. You must understand this, I would not go if my niece could not go. As it was, neither of the girls really knew about it, but if just Emily went Sydney (my niece) would have been upset. Therefore it had to work out for all 4 of us, or none of us. We gave up and decided to forget about it and move on to what else to do for the weekend. Sunday morning I had a message on my voice mail from the night before. It was a friend I do not talk to on a regular basis, Corrie. She said she wanted me to call her, she wanted to ask me a question. I decided I would call her back after church, around 11 am, to ensure she would be awake. As I was in my car on the way to church she called me to tell me this: “Someone gave us 6 first section tickets to see High School Musical On Ice today at 11 am. I am taking Taylor, and have 4 more. Do you and your sister want to come and bring your two girls?” She even had a free parking pass which meant we walked right into the Arena. These were not just any tickets, we were only about 5 rows from the ice. Even if we had been able to afford tickets we would not have been able to get these tickets. My sister and I cried on the phone together, realizing how good God is.

I know this may seem insignificant to some, but for me it is even more powerful to how much God cares for me than paying my electric bill. Why? Because God cares about all of the desires of my heart, not just my needs. Even the smallest thing like being able to take my daughter to see “High School Musical on Ice”. Because when we seek after God He says all these things will be given to you as well.

To the very last detail, whatever it is you are believing for, God will provide. He does not do it half way either, like we would. He can do it with no debt, and no nose bleeds sections. Believe it today that God wants to bless you the same way, He is no respector of persons.

I have talked about the importance of healthy lunches. I told you about some of the harmful things in the marketed “healthy” items for kids, and some alternatives. This week, I wanted to share some more practical tips on how to prepare healthy lunches.

• Sneak in fresh vegetables and fruits. While your child may leave a whole apple untouched, she may love cut up grapes in her chicken salad. (Click here for a great Chicken Salad recipe with grapes.) Cut up apple or a whole banana with Peanut Butter to dip it in.  Anna loves “trees” (Broccoli heads) and branches (carrots) with her ranch dip. (Be sure to get a natural ranch with no additives. Fat is better than the high fructose corn syrup found in the light versions – Look in the produce sections for your dressings, they are typically better on ingredients… But read the labels! )
  

• Get creative: Use cookie cutters to carve sandwiches into fun shapes. Use a cool sports bottle for their water, or splurge $2 a week for the little aquapod fun shaped water bottles.  I stock up on the individual Horizon milks at Kroger at the beginning of the school year. They run them on sale for a long time and I can get coupons. I average about 50 cents for one and then I have organic milk to send them and it will stay in my PANTRY for  a long time. They love it, and it is in a cool box and straw.
  
• Prep lunches with leftovers from dinner the night before. (We discussed this one last week) It is fast, easy, and it is cost effective.
• Don’t be afraid of things that seem “snacky”. For instance,  home made Peanut butter crackers can be healthy. The benefits of all natural Peanut butter is fabulous. Protein, and fiber, and all the benefits of nuts. Cheese cubes, carrots and grape tomatoes with ranch dressing. All great snacks, and lunch items! (Back to Nature is a great brand of “Ritz” type crackers – has nothing bad in it. And I love the nut butters that have almond and/or cashew butter mixed with Peanut butter – MORE  nutrients.
  
• Indulge in desserts, but don’t go overboard. Total overkill on “health” food can cause an uprising. So every once in awhile treat them a little.
  
• Choose to introduce new things, and reinforce the things they do not love, at home rather than school.  

First week of school….    Anna picks out her FAVORITE outfit to wear . Finishing her cereal I insist she finish the milk in her bowl; she tips the bowl to drink,nothing in her mouth … down her outfit, the chair and floor… As we are cleaning her up, Emily decides to tease the cat with a Zu-Zu hamster pet. Mittens, now unfazed by the girls at all,  sits there while the Zu-Zu zooms into his long hair tail and gets its wheels caught in the hair… His tail not so long-haired anymore.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God…” Romans 8:28

Let me set up a scenario for you, tell me what you think….

I have a friend, we have been friends for a long time. She has been off again/on again, but I always love to see her when she comes around. A few weeks ago she asked for my help, as she has done before. She would owe her gratitude to me if I would do this for her, she said. She knew I was the only one who could open this door for her and it would mean so much. I said yes without batting an eye, because I love her so much and wanted to help  her anyway I could. She thanked me, told others what a great friend I was and that she knew the great things in her life  would not be happening without me. (I did not need all that, but of course I appreciated the praise from one friend to the other)

Then last week she called me and needed another favor. I thought long and hard about it, and at first did not respond at all because I did not know how to tell her I could not do it. She pushed in a bit and I finally had to say “no, I can not do it”. She sobbed and cried to me, my heart broke, and I knew even if I gave her my explanation she would not be o.k. So I refrained from defending myself and simply said “I love you more than anything, and I HOPE you understand one day, but for now you will have to trust me, and our friendship, to know I would never hurt you…..

She did not. She went to those same friends to whom she had praised me the weeks before and told them that she could not believe I would not help her. She could not even trust me anymore and did not even know if she could be my friend. She told everyone she did not think I was a friend of my word, or even a friend at all… You can imagine my hurt. After a lifetime of friendship, ups and downs, good and bad, taking her in when she needed it, loving her when she was down, and letting her go when she wanted the “freedom” to strike out on her own. Welcoming her with open arms when she returned… Only to be trashed and dragged through the mud by someone I cared for so much.

Wouldn’t you be devastated? Have you ever experienced a relationship like that, Family, friend, spouse, etc.?

Now…. The story is true but the names are different. You and I are the friend, and God is the faithful one who can not always give us the things we ask for. The tears and pleading and the begging breaks him as much as it does us. But He has reasons we do not understand, and all he asks is that after all He has done; He asks us to know that He loves us and to trust Him even when we do not understand.

Maybe you say “Well what has he done for me?” Well, first let’s start with Saving you from hell,I think we can all agree that should be enough for eternal devotion. Given up your kids or someone you love for someone else?  Then we can move on to the time you were in that accident and he spared you, the job you asked him for that you knew it had to be His hand to put you there, the marriage, the child, the car, the bill that got paid, the friend that called at the right moment when you cried for Him to show you that someone cared.

I know it seems sometimes that our Father is not fair, and plays favorites. But as a mom who hears my fair share of “That’s not fair” I can assure you He has reasons we are not mature enough to understand. I know there are things one child can handle that the other can’t, and it is not always the youngest versus oldest. Sometimes it is personalities, sometimes I say no because I have something different for that one though they just don’t know it yet….  and sometimes it IS maturity. But either way, life may not seem fair. God may not seem fair… But God always loves you and seeks the best for you. He will always bring you the best thing at the best time, though you can not see it now… That’s what we call Faith.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Matthew 8:26-28

(p.s. Though the illustration may reflect images of real human relationships in my life, it is NOT! )

From Zig Ziglar :Based on his research and practice, Dr. Cady believes this alphabet of love will make a positive difference in your child and your relationship with that child. Look for his book; think about it and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Psychiatrist Louis B. Cady of Evansville, Indiana, gives us the ABC’s of love as it relates to our children. When I read this I knew that I wanted to share it with my readers. Enjoy!

Accept your child–not as perfect, not as a “model,” but as a basically good kid.

Be there! You can’t be absent all the time, nor can you show your interest or love for your child if you aren’t present. Be there for football games, dance recitals and the like.

Care for your child. Even when s(he) messes up!

Discipline; don’t punish. It takes “guts” to discipline; it only takes a “wimp” of a parent to let kids get by with anything.

Expect the best: Generally, you’ll get what you expect (bad or good).

Family–the center around which the child’s life should revolve. School, friends and games are the “planets” which should circle around the “sun” of the family.

God/Spiritual – pick yours carefully; there will ALWAYS be a “god” of something in your and your family’s life. Make sure it’s a good one. This doesn’t mean you have to be a ”super-Christian” or go to church seven days a week. It DOES mean that you must instill some sense of spirituality, moral order, and ethics in your child.

Honesty–the bedrock of good character. Make sure you demonstrate it by example.

Interest–in your child. If you aren’t interested, the friendly local drug pusher will be.

Joy– in raising children, watching them develop, being a part of their lives, seeing them turn out as wonderful adults.

Kindness–in discipline and relationships with your kids. Avoid harshness or punitiveness.

Listen! Frequently, YOU are wrong. You are a parent, not God, and certainly not infallible.

Motivate–don’t intimidate.

NO to negativity! Be positive! Any dummy can be negative about things that anyone else does, especially kids. Look for the good in your child and emphasize it. Things that are focused on and emphasized get bigger and stronger.

Open to questions and concerns of your child; be open to examine your own actions and motivations, as well.

Practice (makes perfect); you can mess up, and you don’t have to be perfect. Just don’t make a habit of it. Learn from your mistakes.

Question; interact–your child will not always tell you unless you ask and demonstrate interest.

Reason with your teenager; don’t demand or command arrogantly when there is a disagreement. If you must, discipline, but not until you have attempted reason.

Say your feelings–your child is not telepathic. It’s also important to frequently “say” your feelings of love and affection.

Touch–your child with hugs and kisses. Hugs are appropriate for virtually all ages. Don’t be embarrassed, and don’t get out of the “HUG HABIT”!

Unity–as a family. Don’t allow splits or divisions to develop between warring “factions.”

Value your time together–you won’t have it forever.

Wonder at the priceless gift of your lives together–you will value it more and do more with it.

X marks the spot for your treasure: the home and your family.

You–the critical person who must show your efforts, caring, affection, interest, honesty. Don’t wait to respond; INITIATE!

Zero— the serious problems you will have in your and your teenager’s life if you follow these principles.

Zig Ziglar is known as America’s motivator. He is the author of 29 books and numerous audio and video recordings. He brings his message of hope to thousands on the stages at the Get Motivated Seminars.

My 5 year old, that would be Anna, is digging a hole in the yard while Ben is working in the garden. Her hole is going really deep, and I ask her what she is doing… Her response?? “Pop Pop said if I dig really deep I can Get to Chinese”

Last night we are at dinner, and Anna begins blowing her nose (no tissue) I scold her and get a napkin. She says she has something stuck in her nose (I assume it is the normal things stuck in your nose) I hold the napkin to her nose, and…. she blows out CHEWING GUM!!!!! Somehow at SOME point she swallowed her chewing gum and it went in her sinuses! I told her this is NOT how we blow a bubble!

When a child screams your name from the other room, while you wince to see what the problem is, you MUST go- You can never be sure what you will find. sometimes 1 sister tricked the other into drinking soap water (Cause she needed her mouth washed out for talking ugly) and sometimes you find the OTHER sister (age 5) peeing in a cup because she “remembered doing it at the dr”… What would she have done with the cup if not caught?? Revenge?

Ben and I have a 4 year old daughter, Anna. Her favorite book is “No David” by David Shannon. Which basically consists of a little boy named David being told “No David!” by his mom over and over and over while the pictures portray the trouble David is causing. In the end, after finding himself in time out, his mother calls him once more to say “Yes, David, I love you”.

Our Journey with Anna has been very similar. She has been named Anna (meaning grace) appropriately. She confidently walks in it everyday, and tells me at the end of a bad day that “Tomorrow is a new day and I get another chance to be a sweet girl, right mommy?”. No condemnation is her motto.

She has definitely been our challenging child, determined and head strong and smarter than both of us.   One mom once told me she had to have a talk with her 3 year old one day and told her “You may be smarter than me, but I am still your mama.” This is our Anna. Yet she can be so loving and free to share her affection. Not afraid to approach anyone, and if there is a dog in a 1 mile radius she has to pet it.

We sometimes lay in the bed, my husband and I, and have to chuckle at the audacity she has. Doing our best to train her in the right direction we choose to laugh instead of cry knowing that this too shall pass. She used to put poop on the walls every time she pooped, she does not do that anymore, she used to scream in a shrilling pitch that could bust glass for 15-20 minutes every night at bed time, she does not do that anymore. She used to get out of the bed 20 times at night before falling asleep. She does not do that anymore. Yes, this too shall pass. So why not laugh about it now instead of later!   

In my laughter I was told I needed to share some of the frustrating, hair pulling, hilarious things she does and maybe you will empathize, sympathize, shake your head, pray for me, and/or laugh with me. (Or at me. Makes no difference.    )

So here is one story:

Last week our family went to the Beach with 2 other families, and 4 other kids. After sticking to the beach, the pool and the house for 3 days we decided to venture out and go to “Gulf World” in Panama City Beach Florida. A miniature version of Sea World (Like Putt Putt versus a PGA tour golf course.) While we were there we had 6 adults all looking out for 6 kids. We were petting the sting rays while awaiting the scuba exhibit, but Anna wanted to look at the sea turtles. When it was time for the scuba show we all walked in and had a seat. Fifteen minutes later someone asks “Where’s Anna?” Suddenly Ben and I are on our feet and out the door. As we come out a man, seeing the panic on our face, says “Are you looking for a little girl? They took her to the gift shop” We run past him as we say thank you, but by the time we get to the gift shop she is gone. They took her out back to the sting rays to look for us. When we make it full circle back around there she is with the employee. There is a sigh of relief. I scoop her up and hold her close and say “Oh baby were you scared?” “A little, but Not really” she replies, calmer than all of us. The lady who was helping her find us tells us that she did not cry one bit. She found a mommy and told her she could not find hers. Then she could tell them what our full names were and that her sisters name was Emily and she was 7 years old with brown hair and that the last time she saw us was at the sting rays. She never cried once. No fear. I asked her again if she was scared, she said “No, You know what I am most mad about? I did not get to see whatever show you were watching!” …. Emily said later, “Mommy God is good to protect Anna like that”. I said “Honey it is why I ask and thank God for the angels of protection everyday. They work overtime on our behalf ”

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Spring is here. March 20th. Spring always marks a time of refreshing. Death is giving way to life, and the world once again feels the sunshine on their face and begins to see beauty all around. You open your windows and let the clean fresh breeze wash away the staleness which is brought by winter.

One day later, March 21st, I am 30. Yes, I know a woman is never supposed to tell her age, but I am excited about this milestone. My 20′s have brought so much to me. Freedom of parental authority to being the parental authority, heartache and breakups to finding what real love is and marriage. Loss of loved ones to bringing life to the 2 people I love the most in this world. Making royally huge life-altering mistakes, to seeing how much grace God really has for my life as He takes those choices and makes them just a part of His story. Financial struggles in building a new business to seeing breakthrough and blessing. From being a young woman who really wasn’t sure of who she was as a person, mother and wife, to finding my footing and knowing who I am in Christ.

I look forward with excitement to the new things God holds for me and more confident that He will carry me through the things I don’t even know is coming.

Maybe you have lost things, good things, and don’t understand why. Loved ones, homes, jobs, friends, innocence. We may never understand the reasons we lost them, but until we let go of what we hold in our grasp we can not embrace the new thing He wants to place there. I am confident of this… if God allowed you to lose it He has already made a way for something new.

It is a time for a new season in your life, a new spring, a new decade, whether you wanted it or not. It is time to let go of the past. The good as well as the bad things of the past are still the past. The past is dead, and the new season offers new life and a new hope.